Anyway, today I'm going to post poems that represent two things:
a) emotional strength and power in poetry
and
b) my favorite poems of 2011!
I've already posted a few of each, and I'm going to save a couple for later occasions (Valentine's Day, for example; no love poems here. Also I've got a good 9/11 poem but I'm saving it for 9/11 obviously.) But my year has had three things in it: the majority of freshman year, the summer, and the beginning of sophomore year.
SO: I shall post one poem for each and then my two Strength poems, The Story of a Dying Soul and Bring Light to Me.
Favorite Poem of Freshman Year (not including ones I've already posted):
Pattern
There’s a pattern to this silence
First I’m the one who’s loud
Then there’s those fleeting shared moments
Where you never speak aloud
There’s a pattern to this laughter
First it’s shocking, cruel and cold
Then it turns into a smile
Which is just a laugh grown old
There’s a pattern to this feeling
First it’s hope that doesn’t stay
Then it’s cold, dark numbness
Which lasts day after day
There’s a pattern to this artwork
First Enlightenment proves I’m smart
Then Romanticism eclipses it
Since it knows too well the heart
There’s a pattern to this silence
In between the floating stairs
As the blue sky rises above me
To a place I now can bear.
Favorite Poem of the Summer (or describing it at least):
Italy
Please take me home.
Not here, amidst the wind-ruffled grass
And the sun setting in the picture-perfect
Summerblue sky
The herbs and flowers bending
Memories echoing around me.
This isn't where I truly belong.
Please take me home.
Favorite Poem of Sophomore Year:
Scribbles of Humanity
Doodles of awakenings
That cover up the pages
As if we know what it is like
To not be locked in cages
Drawings of true freedom
In the margins of our books
Scratched out because we are afraid
Of jailers’ second looks
Scribbles of humanity
They float across my brain
If only I’d release myself
I might not go insane....
AAAAAANNNNNDDDD (drumroll please, or 'flourish', meaning a fanfare of trumpets generally reserved for royalty; oh and speaking of that read Hamlet because I looooove that play) my two Strength poems:
The Story of a Dying Soul
I walked up, full of hope
Presenting my glowing eyes
And my wide smile
And my big dreams
And everything I had.
You beat me with your bloodied fists
Slashed at me with your heavy sword
Kicked me until my body made dents in the ground.
So I cried until every tear was released
And then I thought about what you wanted.
So I studied to the decimal point
What you all thought was “correct”.
And I tinkered and toyed until I fit that perfect caricature.
You cut my skin and drank my blood
Laughed as I whimpered in that extreme pain
Left me sobbing on the ground.
So I staggered home and decided
Why should I care about you?
And I picked a different you to care about.
And I showed up, showing only myself
But a me that had been refined
And revised and perfected.
You burned me in your rotten yard
Stabbed me with knives as my flesh melted
Took my ashes and pummeled them dead.
But I reformed into a stronger self
And I said, “I shall care about no one again.”
And I worked only to satisfy my own ambition
Which shattered the limit of the sky.
Until I emerged, stronger and smarter and better than you all
And my broken body ran.
You found me without my presenting myself to you
You jeered in my face as you spat on my skin
You smothered me and then, for good measure, drowned me.
And you took my lifeless body and you beat it again.
And I resurrected myself
And I went somewhere you would never find me.
And for once,
there was a you who didn’t kill me.
There was a you who rejoiced in me,
Was dazzled by me,
Amazed by me
And shone to reflect my light.
But I was dragged back by my ears.
And yet I still ran!
I ran towards the sunrise!
I ran, in my body that you broke and you tore and you cut
And I ran faster than you all,
And I carried a load heavier than the world!
And I lifted it, higher than my shoulders!
And I sent out light so dazzling you ought to have fell
And prayed at my knees!
With the music emanating from my soul,
I shattered glass!
I WAS PERFECT!!!!!!
So, having no ammunition left
With which to kill me,
You chose instead to ignore me.
My words fell on deaf ears
My works fell on blind eyes
And you laughed, as I shrunk inside
Despite my strength.
Your ignorance slithered and slinked
Like the forked tongue of a snake
Crawling around my beating heart
As I turned into ice.
And then I turned so cold I was numb
And then the numbness became blinding, excruciating pain
And I was strong and silent
And then I SCREAMED.
End the pain!
Please, please, please, end the pain!
Take me to paradise, please, bring me back there again!
But there is only one route to that paradise.
As you raise your mallets and your hammers
Over my cardboard grave,
You casually ponder why I killed myself.
Bring Light to Me
Floating hopelessly in a dark sea
Wandering aimlessly in pitch-black woods
Brambles and thorns hitting me, tripping me
Because I cannot see a thing.
Pain stabs me daily as I try to walk on
And finally, I’m broken, on the ground
“Bring light to me,” I croak.
“Let me love.”
And there I am, in warmth and comfort
In that safe haven in the midst of the dark, unsafe woods
And the crackling fire
And the scent of cooking food
And the surrounding laughter
And I feel so warm...
And then I stumble and I’m back on the path.
That film of darkness enveloping me
I cry out,
And no one hears me.
The darkness is eating me and laughing...
I am falling into inky blackness
Swamps of ooze are swallowing me whole
Gasping for air...
falling asleep...
Deep, deep sleep...
And that ethereal awakening
As the image, suddenly, sharpens.
I am where I always belonged.
Where the world is colorful,
bright, vibrant.
At last, I have found a place
A place I can call home
But my bliss is too brief.
I am yanked from my place of joy
Back to the blackness
And the shadows.
And I turn thin from lack of true sunlight
Because my soul feeds off joy,
And my soul is now far too thin.
Here are the demons jeering again-
“This is your home now.”
If I had only not let myself be flown back to this place of utter misery
But here I am.
And the worst part of waking up
Is seeing everyone still sleeping around you.
In this high-school hell, I am surrounded by sleepwalking zombies
Who delight in their Alice-of-Wonderland dreams
Just confused girls and boys
Trying to pretend they understand the twisted rules of their world
How is it only I see truth!
They walk while asleep, but never hit a wall.
And I am pushed still by thorns in my dark woods
I do not have a path, for the path was beaten for Everyone Else
And I am not part of Everyone Else.
And at last I howl to the night.
“Bring light to me!” I scream. “Let me go home!”
Now I am the watchman
Who sits on the dock and waits for the sunrise.
I feel I am at the brink of dawn
I see the smallest glimmers of light on the water
As though the sun is creeping around the horizon
And there is a pen, next to me on the wooden dock
Dropped by one of those who walk by day
They who cling so tight to worthless gold and diamonds
And drop the world’s most precious item.
“Bring light to me,” I whisper to the sea.
“Let me write.”
So? What'd you think? A bit too violent with The Story of a Dying Soul maybe? Eh, it's ARTISTICALLY violent. :) The last one might be my favorite of all of them. I entered it in some thingy on Wattpad, but I never checked to see what happened. Scribbles of Humanity miiight be going into my school's lit mag, and as for the other two: Italy is, yes, about Italy, and that is what 'home' refers to if you were wondering. See my last post. And Pattern is about, well… I'll make you wait to find out, my dear nonexistent readers. Wait until Valentine's Day 2012. If we shall live so long! Ha ha.
Do any of you actually expect the apocalypse next year?
Anyway, I'd have done this tomorrow but I have vowed to all that is holy that I will finish my damn US History homework tomorrow, and curse my soul if I let anything interrupt me. Seriously. And I have so much editing to do.
So… Happy 2012 in two days, everybody!
From your dear little poet,
magic*esi
Vois sur ton chemin… Look down your path
Gamins oubliés egarés… Forgotten children astray
Donne leur la main… Lend them your hand
Pour les mener… To lead them
Vers d'autres lendemains… To better futures
Sens la coeur de la nuit… Sense in the heart of the night
L'onde d'espoir… The wave of hope
L'ardeur de la vie… The fervor of life
Sentier de gloire… The sense of glory
-FROM LES CHORISTES THE BEST MOVIE EVER WATCH IT NOW :)
OK, bye for real now.
Pattern
A poem about feelings taking on a pattern
“There’s a pattern to this feeling
First it’s hope that doesn’t stay
Then it’s cold, dark numbness
Which lasts day after day.”
April 2011
Italy
A short poem about how I miss home (it is in its entirety here.)
“Please take me home.
Not here, amidst the wind-ruffled grass
And the sun setting in the picture-perfect
Summerblue sky
The herbs and flowers bending
Memories echoing around me.
This isn’t where I truly belong.
Please take me home.”
August 2011
Scribbles of Humanity
A poem about the locked feeling of puberty.
“Scribbles of humanity
They float across my brain
If only I’d release myself
I might not go insane...”
October 2011
The Story of a Dying Soul
A poem about a brilliant person who was broken by bullies.
“And yet I still ran!
I ran towards the sunrise!
I ran, in my body that you broke and you tore and you cut
And I ran faster than you all,
And I carried a load heavier than the world!
And I lifted it, higher than my shoulders!
And I sent out light so dazzling you ought to have fell
And prayed at my knees!
With the music emanating from my soul,
I shattered glass!
I WAS PERFECT!!!!!!!”
November 2011
Bring Light to Me
A poem about the ways my world has been lit.
“Now I am the watchman
Who sits on the dock and waits for the sunrise.
I feel I am at the brink of dawn
I see the smallest glimmers of light on the water
As though the sun is creeping around the horizon
And there is a pen, next to me on the wooden dock
Dropped by one of those who walk by day
They who cling so tight to worthless gold and diamonds
And drop the world’s most precious item.”
October 2011
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